-Richard Wiseman
Why do some people have all the luck while others never get the break they deserve? I set out to examine luck, 10 years ago. Why are some people always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune? I placed advertisements in the national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.
Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, have been interviewed by me. I have monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments. The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not. I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their own ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: ‘Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50’.
This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it. Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to the parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good. I wondered towards the end of the work, whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person. Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck. One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80 per cent of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.
The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky. Finally, I had found the elusive ‘luck factor’.
1) Listen to your gut instincts – they are normally right.
2) Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine.
3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well.
4) Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.
Have a Lucky day and work for it.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Live Outside The Box
Jump into the storm, do not stand on the sidelines, too scared to do anything about the ugliness around you.
Most of the world likes to play it safe. They go to their safe jobs, come home to their safe relationships, they drive safe cars, they invest money in safe corporations, they think safe thoughts, and they want nothing more than to feel safe and secure. Survival of the fittest dictates that these people live another day and therefore get to breed and would make up the majority of the population. We could say that they play it smart. But there is another kind, too. This other group lives for thrills. They don’t just occasionally think outside the box, they actually prefer to live outside the box. This is a group who thrives on adventure, change, and newness. They love innovative ideas, they like to explore new things, and push the envelope beyond its capabilities. They are the visionaries who perceive something beyond where we stand today.
This group often does not feel understood nor supported by the mainstream population. They are not rebels, although they are often accused of being rebellious because they do not embrace the status quo. This group is not anti-anything. They do not define themselves by not being a member of someone else’s group. They do not require group to be who they are. Young adults often think that by dressing badly or by misbehaving that are somehow brave and different from whatever it is that they are opposing, but that is revolutionary and different, that is just anger turned inside out. Most of the time they are not accomplishing anything by simply making a mess of their lives. They are not making a point. They are not changing the world. They are simply behaving in a manner that causes people to shun them. That is not the group am talking about today. The group am talking about today is made up of people like ALBERT EINSTEIN, MAHATMA GANDHI,NIKOLA TESLA, SUSAN B ANTHONY, MELISSA ETHERIDGE, NELSON MANDELA and countless others who do not strive to be different nor to go against the mainstream beliefs. They simply are different, they think different, they live different, and they make passionate choices to contribute something meaningful to the humanity despite the fact that others oppose them. All of these people stand tall despite the chaos and anger of those surrounding them. “WHY CANT YOU JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE?” “ WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUSH PEOPLE TOO FAR?” “ WHY CANT YOU JUST GET ALONG?”
Those who would keep things safe and comfortable become frightened and angry at these innovative new thinkers. They torment them, threaten them, mistreat them, ostracize them, and create a storm of ugliness to stop to try and stop these people from simply sharing the things of their hearts that they were born to share with humanity. Years later often after they have long been dead, future generations can look back in hindsight, and see their bravery as admirable. But in the moment, these people are historically treated terribly. These people are typically men and women of peace who do not go out with an angry rebellious need to stir up trouble. They fight for higher ideals because in their heart of hearts they truly believe that things could be better for mankind. They hold a vision of better things to come and they follow that vision wherever it takes them. Today there are millions of people who would change the world with their beautiful open-minded hearts and their incredibly brilliant minds, especially the upcoming teenagers and young adults in their early twenties. They feel that there is no point in even trying because the current political and cultural environment is so against them. I would be lying if I claimed that what you see as extreme hostility towards change was not at a peak right now. You are right. They do not want to change again, but you are right, it is time for another change and you are the ones to help bring it. Do not be afraid of the backlash. Stand tall and do what you know in your heart is right and just for all, not just what benefits a chosen few. You know that ignorance can no longer rule the people. You know that blind obedience is no longer a viable option.
To you I say, meet me in the eye of the storm and together we will stir this mess in another direction Jump into the eye of the storm. Do not stand on the sidelines too lazy and scared to do anything about all of the ugliness going on around. Jump into the storm. Swim and fight your way to the center of the vortex. There we will sit together in the quiet and find the solutions. Until we embrace the eye of the storm and really see what is at the roof of humanity’s hatred of each other, we will never find a long term solution that creates real peace and equality for everyone. We need to heal our planet, our bodies, and the spiritual hearts of our species. People say that the signs are all here and Armageddon has begun. Why save the planet if the savior is coming to take the good and holy people away to a better place? Since we are not going to be here much longer, we may as well fry it on our way out. How selfish to assume that your god will come carry you off to heaven, therefore you do not have to care for the people and the planet that are going to be left in wake of your final choices. Who is to say that is not ultimate test of who stays and who gets to ascend to a better place? If you had to pick and choose who were trust worthy of burning in hell or going to heaven, would you pick the folks who were killing and raging war in the name of the God or would you pick the people who were crying out for love, equality, and to save the planet?
I stand here in the eye of the storm, turmoil and war all around me, my heart quiet and strong. The vision is very clear here. I will do my part to save the planet for the sake of those left behind. It is not for me to say who should or who should nor prevail. Someone will be left standing here on this planet, with this atmosphere, with this water, and with this soil. For them, I say lets create a plan so that they have the best possible chance of rebuilding a new world. For love of this place with its beaches, mountains and forests that I love so much, I will hold the love of the MOTHER NATURE in my heart. You know, if the savior comes to haul all the good ones off to a better place, I think I will volunteer to stay behind to help make this battered planet of place of beauty once more. When you are done with your religious wars and your ascensions to heaven, give the planet back to those of us who care for her and please do not come back. Embrace the eye of the storm, for the vision is very clear here.
- SKYE THOMAS
Most of the world likes to play it safe. They go to their safe jobs, come home to their safe relationships, they drive safe cars, they invest money in safe corporations, they think safe thoughts, and they want nothing more than to feel safe and secure. Survival of the fittest dictates that these people live another day and therefore get to breed and would make up the majority of the population. We could say that they play it smart. But there is another kind, too. This other group lives for thrills. They don’t just occasionally think outside the box, they actually prefer to live outside the box. This is a group who thrives on adventure, change, and newness. They love innovative ideas, they like to explore new things, and push the envelope beyond its capabilities. They are the visionaries who perceive something beyond where we stand today.
This group often does not feel understood nor supported by the mainstream population. They are not rebels, although they are often accused of being rebellious because they do not embrace the status quo. This group is not anti-anything. They do not define themselves by not being a member of someone else’s group. They do not require group to be who they are. Young adults often think that by dressing badly or by misbehaving that are somehow brave and different from whatever it is that they are opposing, but that is revolutionary and different, that is just anger turned inside out. Most of the time they are not accomplishing anything by simply making a mess of their lives. They are not making a point. They are not changing the world. They are simply behaving in a manner that causes people to shun them. That is not the group am talking about today. The group am talking about today is made up of people like ALBERT EINSTEIN, MAHATMA GANDHI,NIKOLA TESLA, SUSAN B ANTHONY, MELISSA ETHERIDGE, NELSON MANDELA and countless others who do not strive to be different nor to go against the mainstream beliefs. They simply are different, they think different, they live different, and they make passionate choices to contribute something meaningful to the humanity despite the fact that others oppose them. All of these people stand tall despite the chaos and anger of those surrounding them. “WHY CANT YOU JUST LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE?” “ WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUSH PEOPLE TOO FAR?” “ WHY CANT YOU JUST GET ALONG?”
Those who would keep things safe and comfortable become frightened and angry at these innovative new thinkers. They torment them, threaten them, mistreat them, ostracize them, and create a storm of ugliness to stop to try and stop these people from simply sharing the things of their hearts that they were born to share with humanity. Years later often after they have long been dead, future generations can look back in hindsight, and see their bravery as admirable. But in the moment, these people are historically treated terribly. These people are typically men and women of peace who do not go out with an angry rebellious need to stir up trouble. They fight for higher ideals because in their heart of hearts they truly believe that things could be better for mankind. They hold a vision of better things to come and they follow that vision wherever it takes them. Today there are millions of people who would change the world with their beautiful open-minded hearts and their incredibly brilliant minds, especially the upcoming teenagers and young adults in their early twenties. They feel that there is no point in even trying because the current political and cultural environment is so against them. I would be lying if I claimed that what you see as extreme hostility towards change was not at a peak right now. You are right. They do not want to change again, but you are right, it is time for another change and you are the ones to help bring it. Do not be afraid of the backlash. Stand tall and do what you know in your heart is right and just for all, not just what benefits a chosen few. You know that ignorance can no longer rule the people. You know that blind obedience is no longer a viable option.
To you I say, meet me in the eye of the storm and together we will stir this mess in another direction Jump into the eye of the storm. Do not stand on the sidelines too lazy and scared to do anything about all of the ugliness going on around. Jump into the storm. Swim and fight your way to the center of the vortex. There we will sit together in the quiet and find the solutions. Until we embrace the eye of the storm and really see what is at the roof of humanity’s hatred of each other, we will never find a long term solution that creates real peace and equality for everyone. We need to heal our planet, our bodies, and the spiritual hearts of our species. People say that the signs are all here and Armageddon has begun. Why save the planet if the savior is coming to take the good and holy people away to a better place? Since we are not going to be here much longer, we may as well fry it on our way out. How selfish to assume that your god will come carry you off to heaven, therefore you do not have to care for the people and the planet that are going to be left in wake of your final choices. Who is to say that is not ultimate test of who stays and who gets to ascend to a better place? If you had to pick and choose who were trust worthy of burning in hell or going to heaven, would you pick the folks who were killing and raging war in the name of the God or would you pick the people who were crying out for love, equality, and to save the planet?
I stand here in the eye of the storm, turmoil and war all around me, my heart quiet and strong. The vision is very clear here. I will do my part to save the planet for the sake of those left behind. It is not for me to say who should or who should nor prevail. Someone will be left standing here on this planet, with this atmosphere, with this water, and with this soil. For them, I say lets create a plan so that they have the best possible chance of rebuilding a new world. For love of this place with its beaches, mountains and forests that I love so much, I will hold the love of the MOTHER NATURE in my heart. You know, if the savior comes to haul all the good ones off to a better place, I think I will volunteer to stay behind to help make this battered planet of place of beauty once more. When you are done with your religious wars and your ascensions to heaven, give the planet back to those of us who care for her and please do not come back. Embrace the eye of the storm, for the vision is very clear here.
- SKYE THOMAS
Monday, December 17, 2007
THERE WILL NEVER BE A FIRST NIGHT AGAIN……..........
If the pleasure is more in the hunt than in acquisition, and anticipation is far more exciting than fulfillment, why does one seek a culmination of desire at all?
A friend was most flustered when after the first night of honeymoon, she found her new husband reflective and somewhat depressed. Upon prodding, his answer was, “I love you more than ever, but it upsets me that there will never be a first night again with you ever again…..”
He explained to her how he had anticipated and looked forward with great intensity to their first time together. And now that it was behind them, he felt a bit lost….almost as if he had lost something precious. Weird? Romantic? Yes, a bit of both, but doesn’t it happen to all of us at some point or the other? We tend to get so caught up in the anticipation that not only do we forget to enjoy the present moments but are at a total loss once we achieve what we desired!
It is true that the thrill of anticipation never does quite match the realization. And some of the most powerful experiences in life are those that never meet fruition. In fact, according to a theory called the Zeigarnik effect, there is a psychological tendency to more vividly remember an uncompleted rather than a completed task. Memories are more vivid where the agenda has not been completed.
A gaze frozen in time can rekindle romantic memories through a lifetime, far more than if it had been a tangible reality. Indeed I do still recall the thrill of the furtive glances sent my way by an unnamed boy way back in the school bus. In that entire year of going back and forth from the school, we looked but never exchanged a word with each other, nor knew each others names!
Think of when you receive a gift. The highpoint is the moment just before the wrapping comes off. Once opened, the gift becomes a mundane part of life.
Or the act of lovemaking. All the pleasure, the trembling excitement is part of the anticipation. Poised on the edge of the precipice, fevered passion can only possibly take a downswing from here onwards…..
All your life you hanker after those solitaires, enjoying plenty pleasurable moments anticipating the moment you will own them. The moment comes and goes—and suddenly those solitaires are a possession, a reality of your everyday existence. What then?
Soon enough you hanker after something else! For it’s that hankering that gives you the adrenaline shots more than the acquisition.
If the pleasure is more in the hunt than in the acquisition, and anticipation is far more exciting than fulfillment, why does one seek a culmination of desire after all? It is at the point when we are poised on the brink of fulfillment that life’s most intensely pleasurable moments reside—when our desire is just to be fulfilled. Chocolate tastes the best between the first bite and just the moment before we swallow it—and then….it’s over, leaving behind a lingering guilt! There is a deep intensity in that one moment just before the anticipation takes the shape of reality. Were it possible to string together those moments, the awesome intensity would be unbearable!
“To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive,” said Robert Louis Stevenson. Living on the edge of discovery, to be poised on the verge is far more thrilling than the plunge itself.
But so focused are we on the destination, and so conditioned to be goal-oriented that we forget to enjoy the moments of expectation that awaits us on the brink of fulfillment. Right from childhood are we taught the importance of focusing on and achieving our goals. We are never told that what matters is excellence—not perfection of culmination. Seldom is a child taught to enjoy the journey as he goes along. Living on the edge of discovery, standing poised on the verge of achievement is always far more pleasurable than the achievement itself. That’s the lesson we all come across again and again in life…….
Would that love forever retained the thrill of anticipation and never become a harsh reality: would that the moment just before those solitaires are touched remained frozen in time: would that the gift remained just one fold beyond the wrapping paper……….
A friend was most flustered when after the first night of honeymoon, she found her new husband reflective and somewhat depressed. Upon prodding, his answer was, “I love you more than ever, but it upsets me that there will never be a first night again with you ever again…..”
He explained to her how he had anticipated and looked forward with great intensity to their first time together. And now that it was behind them, he felt a bit lost….almost as if he had lost something precious. Weird? Romantic? Yes, a bit of both, but doesn’t it happen to all of us at some point or the other? We tend to get so caught up in the anticipation that not only do we forget to enjoy the present moments but are at a total loss once we achieve what we desired!
It is true that the thrill of anticipation never does quite match the realization. And some of the most powerful experiences in life are those that never meet fruition. In fact, according to a theory called the Zeigarnik effect, there is a psychological tendency to more vividly remember an uncompleted rather than a completed task. Memories are more vivid where the agenda has not been completed.
A gaze frozen in time can rekindle romantic memories through a lifetime, far more than if it had been a tangible reality. Indeed I do still recall the thrill of the furtive glances sent my way by an unnamed boy way back in the school bus. In that entire year of going back and forth from the school, we looked but never exchanged a word with each other, nor knew each others names!
Think of when you receive a gift. The highpoint is the moment just before the wrapping comes off. Once opened, the gift becomes a mundane part of life.
Or the act of lovemaking. All the pleasure, the trembling excitement is part of the anticipation. Poised on the edge of the precipice, fevered passion can only possibly take a downswing from here onwards…..
All your life you hanker after those solitaires, enjoying plenty pleasurable moments anticipating the moment you will own them. The moment comes and goes—and suddenly those solitaires are a possession, a reality of your everyday existence. What then?
Soon enough you hanker after something else! For it’s that hankering that gives you the adrenaline shots more than the acquisition.
If the pleasure is more in the hunt than in the acquisition, and anticipation is far more exciting than fulfillment, why does one seek a culmination of desire after all? It is at the point when we are poised on the brink of fulfillment that life’s most intensely pleasurable moments reside—when our desire is just to be fulfilled. Chocolate tastes the best between the first bite and just the moment before we swallow it—and then….it’s over, leaving behind a lingering guilt! There is a deep intensity in that one moment just before the anticipation takes the shape of reality. Were it possible to string together those moments, the awesome intensity would be unbearable!
“To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive,” said Robert Louis Stevenson. Living on the edge of discovery, to be poised on the verge is far more thrilling than the plunge itself.
But so focused are we on the destination, and so conditioned to be goal-oriented that we forget to enjoy the moments of expectation that awaits us on the brink of fulfillment. Right from childhood are we taught the importance of focusing on and achieving our goals. We are never told that what matters is excellence—not perfection of culmination. Seldom is a child taught to enjoy the journey as he goes along. Living on the edge of discovery, standing poised on the verge of achievement is always far more pleasurable than the achievement itself. That’s the lesson we all come across again and again in life…….
Would that love forever retained the thrill of anticipation and never become a harsh reality: would that the moment just before those solitaires are touched remained frozen in time: would that the gift remained just one fold beyond the wrapping paper……….
Sunday, October 7, 2007
SILENT REALITY
THE MYSTERY OF FEMININE POWER
Women are powerful, have always been so. But their power is not crude or brutal like that of men
The power of women lies in tenderness, love, beauty and feminine grace. When they start seeking the same power as sought by men, they lose something very precious. Of course women should be strong and courageous, but not in the same way as men are. They should be strong in their own unique way – the feminine way. When they realise this uniqueness, no man can match their power.
Once Emporer Akbar asked Birbal : “ Sometimes, I get worried. All the people in my court look henpecked. Is there not even a single rave man here?”. Birbal said: “Looks difficult, but we will try to find one.”
They were all brave men. If ordered, they would put down their lives without a moment’s hesitation. Their bravery was not in any way suspect. Birbal made arrangements and said: “Tomorrow, come decided that you will assert the truth. Any body who tells a lie is going to the gallows. Think over it. The king wants to know the truth – are you afraid of your wife or not?”
They all came. The king said: “Those who are afraid of their wives should move to the right, and those who are not afraid should stay on the left.” All moved to the right except a single, tiny man. Akbar said: “I am happy because I thought that not even a single man would stay.” The lone man said: “Wait! Don’t be happy so soon. When I was coming here, my wife told me not to stand in the crowd! That’s why I am standing here.”
What makes a man fear a woman? Her feminine strength. Man can argue endlessly but, in most cases, the woman always wins. She may not produce even a good argument, but win she does.
Talking on Lao Tzu and his feminine principle, Osho explains: It is natural. The feminine principle wins. And Lao Tzu is all for the feminine principle. Why does the woman win? She is so soft. In fact she never fights, she persuades. She does not fight direct; her fight is indirect and subtle. If she wants to say no, She will not say so directly, but in thousand and one ways her whole being will say no. In the way she places the plate, in the way she moves, in her sari’s swish…..She will say no. She herself will say yes but her whole being will say no. How can you defeat something so subtle? If you love the woman you are defeated.”
Osho brings in the spirituality dimension: “And it is good that the hard is defeated and the soft wins because that is the only possibility for God to win in the world. The devil must be hard like rock. God must be soft. In the East, we never think of God as a father; rather we think of God as a mother. That insight is beautiful. God should not be thought of as a father because the male principle is hard. God should be thought of as a mother, feminine.”
God persuades you to come to him, yet he never forces you. You never meet him anywhere, yet you search for him. You never encounter him. He follows you as a subtle aroma. You never come face to face with him. You will find him deep in the stirrings of your heart. You will not find him like a storm; he comes like a subtle breeze. Only those who are very subtle will be able to feel it. He comes like a flower.
All the enlightened ones – such as Gautama Buddha – are like flowers and have feminine grace. That’s why people worship them as the incarnations of God. They have a feminine mystery and tremendous power that no Alexander The Great or Napoleon could have had. Their influence on humanity is eternal. Humanity surrenders to them out of reverence, while all the Alexanders who try to conquer the world fall miserably. Masculine power is violent, Feminine power is full of love and compassion.
Women are powerful, have always been so. But their power is not crude or brutal like that of men
The power of women lies in tenderness, love, beauty and feminine grace. When they start seeking the same power as sought by men, they lose something very precious. Of course women should be strong and courageous, but not in the same way as men are. They should be strong in their own unique way – the feminine way. When they realise this uniqueness, no man can match their power.
Once Emporer Akbar asked Birbal : “ Sometimes, I get worried. All the people in my court look henpecked. Is there not even a single rave man here?”. Birbal said: “Looks difficult, but we will try to find one.”
They were all brave men. If ordered, they would put down their lives without a moment’s hesitation. Their bravery was not in any way suspect. Birbal made arrangements and said: “Tomorrow, come decided that you will assert the truth. Any body who tells a lie is going to the gallows. Think over it. The king wants to know the truth – are you afraid of your wife or not?”
They all came. The king said: “Those who are afraid of their wives should move to the right, and those who are not afraid should stay on the left.” All moved to the right except a single, tiny man. Akbar said: “I am happy because I thought that not even a single man would stay.” The lone man said: “Wait! Don’t be happy so soon. When I was coming here, my wife told me not to stand in the crowd! That’s why I am standing here.”
What makes a man fear a woman? Her feminine strength. Man can argue endlessly but, in most cases, the woman always wins. She may not produce even a good argument, but win she does.
Talking on Lao Tzu and his feminine principle, Osho explains: It is natural. The feminine principle wins. And Lao Tzu is all for the feminine principle. Why does the woman win? She is so soft. In fact she never fights, she persuades. She does not fight direct; her fight is indirect and subtle. If she wants to say no, She will not say so directly, but in thousand and one ways her whole being will say no. In the way she places the plate, in the way she moves, in her sari’s swish…..She will say no. She herself will say yes but her whole being will say no. How can you defeat something so subtle? If you love the woman you are defeated.”
Osho brings in the spirituality dimension: “And it is good that the hard is defeated and the soft wins because that is the only possibility for God to win in the world. The devil must be hard like rock. God must be soft. In the East, we never think of God as a father; rather we think of God as a mother. That insight is beautiful. God should not be thought of as a father because the male principle is hard. God should be thought of as a mother, feminine.”
God persuades you to come to him, yet he never forces you. You never meet him anywhere, yet you search for him. You never encounter him. He follows you as a subtle aroma. You never come face to face with him. You will find him deep in the stirrings of your heart. You will not find him like a storm; he comes like a subtle breeze. Only those who are very subtle will be able to feel it. He comes like a flower.
All the enlightened ones – such as Gautama Buddha – are like flowers and have feminine grace. That’s why people worship them as the incarnations of God. They have a feminine mystery and tremendous power that no Alexander The Great or Napoleon could have had. Their influence on humanity is eternal. Humanity surrenders to them out of reverence, while all the Alexanders who try to conquer the world fall miserably. Masculine power is violent, Feminine power is full of love and compassion.
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